Saturday 28th January 1989

Outside Clara's Bookshop, (Detail), 2007

Oil on canvas, 61 x 50cm

(Double click to enlarge)

That evening, I wanted to see Sari, and by the time that I was supposed to meet Steve and Anne and the rest of the crowd at Alley’s Inn at 7.45pm, I was feeling depressed, and would rather have stayed in.
Nevertheless, I go and when I get there, most of the Rugby team have arrived.

We stay until 9pm, when all bar Henrik and Niklas, move on to the White Corner disco. Pleasant enough evening, with Anna and I snatching the chances to dance together, but the evening turns sour when I tell Johan how I feel about her. My reason for this is because I am fed up with the game. I wanted to upset her, which indeed, due to my actions I did. She would have to make her mind up now, whether to continue with Johan, or try to start a proper relationship with me.

I was quite prepared for Johan’s reaction had it become physical, which indeed, it almost did. His knowledge of Anna’s feelings for me, and mine for her, meant that we had no secrets anymore. It was now, all or nothing. I couldn’t continue with a relationship over the telephone and deceiving Johan with every stolen kiss and dance ; I’d rather not have her at all, thereby stopping this childish charade.

The episode resulted in Johan confronting Anna, her casting her engagement ring, which sent it spinning and clinking across the dance floor, with a stunned Johan scurrying after it in pursuit. After this, and to the bemusement of the rest of the gang, the three of us left the night club.
I walked home, alone, leaving Johan and Anna to sort out the problem.
It was after 1am when I arrived home to my one room bed-sit at Ålandsgatan, drunk. I took out my frustration, and anger at myself, by smashing crockery on the kitchenette floor and put my stereo on full blast to let the neighbours know that I am annoyed.
After about half an hour, when I had calmed down, a buzz on the intercom told me that Johan and Anna had arrived downstairs.

Fortunately, Johan, who stands at 6 ’ 4” tall, was now reasonable. And we discuss the situation with Anna, as she crashes out on the bed.
As it was, with all the futility of the situation, and the irony, was that we all end up sleeping together. The girl in question of course, between Johan and I, in the middle of a very small bed. She had undressed to her underwear: white lace bra with matching French knickers.
I rise sometime during mid morning and am making tea. There is only an open dividing wall in the bed-sit between the kitchenette and living room.
I hear “ker.. pla..donk!,…. Ker.. Pla.. donk!“.
As I peer around the wall, mug in hand, I am staring at Anna, still only in bra and panties, upside-down, hair masking her face, against the opposite wall.
“I’m practising my handstands” , She does gymnastics at college.
“You know, you really shouldn’t do that, Anna”
“Why not?“
I sighed and shook my head.

From forthcoming biography : "Notes of a jobber"

To be published in the new year